I think we have all been there when there is a food item in front of us that just makes you cringe. Maybe it's offal, such as liver, tripe, or brains. Maybe it's a dish from another culture such as an American being presented with stinky tofu. Or maybe it's a vegetable that's different or done in a new way such as broccoli or tater-tots.
I'm an omnivore eater but that doesn't mean I enjoy every thing put before me. I think most of us are well acquainted with the idea of what we like and don't like. And as is human nature we tend to extend that thought process outward to those around us. And it takes an effort, an 'ah-ha' moment to realize, to really learn, that what you like another finds cringe worthy. We all know on a surface level that not everyone's the same. But somehow that meaning doesn't always sink in until the moment you present a food you love to another person and they cringe away from it.
For me that first occurred in junior year of high school. I was in the school cafeteria eating tater-tots, the best thing since sliced bread to me. When my friend turned down some and I asked why, my mind was blown when he said they looked weird and gross. Tater-tot. Weird. And gross. Really?! Yes really. There was nothing wrong with my friend, and in a minute I will get to why I have to defend him, and it helped me to open my mind to how others may feel about foods and by extension really anything else that I may love and they don't.
My gross foods are anything organ related, gristle, and umami. Which a lot of people can relate to. Bizarre Foods and other TV shows like it are all about delving into the gross and finding it enjoyable. I really do wish I could enjoy things like umami because those who love it are over the moon about it. But present me with a sea urchin and I'm not touching that thing with a ten foot pole.
Today I had another mind blown experience. My friend cringed away from - wait for it - broccoli. Yup, the best vegetable ever. The sweet nectar of life. The greatest taste humans have enjoyed since the dawn of time. And she was like 'get that away from me this instant' in body language.
Here in Vanuatu I have come across all kinds of new foods, new varieties of known foods, and old favorites made in a new way. Aelen Kakai ranges from 'More please!' to cringe worthy. But never did I expect to see an aelen woman cringe from anything because I've gotten so used to everyone being really open about eating pretty much anything. (including cats and small birds)
A lot of people, when confronted with their favorite food being rejected will respond in a very typical, human manner - ripping into the person who dared to dislike your food. Your crazy! What's wrong with you? You have no taste. Human beings have responded this way for, at the least, the past millennia. I've never been the kind of person who thinks we should all be cookie cutter versions of one way. I'm okay with different ways of being. So it's always been rather hard to grasp concepts like a religion or form of government has to be one right way only, for all humans, for all time, no deviation or else. But when you bring the same kind of thing back down to a re
latable level like my favorite food is something you don't even want to look at, now I can start to see the mentality behind the idea of universal truths. I think the missing element between knowing not everyone's the same and accepting that something you like is rejected by another is take out the part where your self esteem and self worth are wrapped up in your truth.
I know, I know, I started talking about gross food and now I'm doing a pseudophycic analysis. Hang with me for a second. Think about the last time you came across a new food you rejected. Did it occurred to you that you were hurting someone's feelings? Why would those feelings be damaged because of an uncontrollable response on your part? Now reverse and if your feelings got hurt, why would that be? Was it because they didn’t like it or because that other person then tried to tear you down for liking something they didn’t. I think it has to do with a rejection of something I like, done in a manner that is then turned into a insult towards me, is a negative judgement on my taste, maybe my culture, and certainly on something that usually makes me feel good. Since I don’t like being told I’m insane, lizard person, or otherwise insulted, I then reject your perceived judgement and condemn you for rejecting my food i.e. my culture, my taste, and for tainting something that makes me feel good. Now extend that basic human reaction to food likes and dislikes and project it into a scenario of religion and politics. Now we are talking about something that is intrinsic to a person's identity and self esteem.
When another persons reaction becomes a negative judgement on themselves whether it was intended as such or not, then I can start to see how people can go to such lengths such as protests, wars, and death to protect their chosen belief system by making it universal. If no one disagrees then no one is making a judgement against you. If there is one universal truth then you will never have your feelings hurt by someone not liking the same thing as you and then telling you you shouldn’t like it either.
There's clearly a lot more going on in the individual when it comes to their personal truth or with society when it comes to The Truth. But food and the associated likes, dislikes, acceptance, and rejection is interesting to me. I just like to wonder what rejection of broccoli and my response to your rejection says about humans in general.
By the by, once I cooked up the broccoli with some beans it was very tasty to my friend. And when I shared my experience with the other volunteers in a group chat, one came back with "TBF only a lizard person would eat raw broccoli without ranch." Of which my response was, internally not externally, was "Fuck you I'm not a lizard person and raw broccoli rocks, ass hole." And that's just over one common food item.
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