Dr. Erica Gonzalez has the unusual situation of being the psychiatrist to a collection of folks who were all in the same traumatic situation. Many of the Capsilon Colony passengers were experiencing ill effect or full post traumatic stress both from the revolution and from many events over the past several years at the colony. In addition, two persons from that group each had experiences directly from each other as well as their shared environment though they had different roles and experiences in that environment. Given the sensitive nature of the events, the post-traumatic experience therapy was being conducted by herself and two other senior doctors.
Dr. Gonzalez brainstormed with her two colleagues on how to approach the next stage in therapy with David Hall and Jessical Wellington. It was a most unusual situation and needed to be handled thoughtfully. First and foremost is for each individual to come to terms with their experience on their own. The doctors all agreed that a traumatic experience feedback between these two would be too easy to form and not at all healthy.
A traumatic experience feedback in this case would be mistaking shared trauma for compatibility with each other or to pit themselves as enemies against each other. While it is true that sharing your experience with another person who understands because they had a similar situation can be helpful and healing; it is also true that two people with the same sort of trauma can lock themselves into an echo chamber. Stuck in a room with no doors, so to speak, they could end up feeding off of each other to replay their trauma on an endless loop. The first can lead to healing and the second, not so much.
In the case of David and Jessica it would be unfortunate if they entered into a relationship, whether it is a romantic one or a combative one, where they keep replaying the roles and experience that was established during their sessions together in the brothel. While it was only four sessions that they were together, a traumatic experience can change a person just from one event if it is strong enough.
Right now the two were staying pretty far away from each other, kind of like they knew that it wouldn’t be good to get too close. Jessica believed that what she did was wrong and that David must hate her for it, so she stayed away whenever she knew that the Captain would be in the passenger or public space areas. David was conflicted over not being able to stop himself from enjoying the sexual experience, that he should have had more control. Until he felt he had more control he wasn’t going to go near Jessica. So far so good, mostly. But these two can’t stay for years on the same ship and never interact. And eventually they will need a reconciliation between them. They will need closure to move on.
What the doctors would like is to guide their patients to a mental state where they will be able to recall the events without experiencing symptoms of PTSD. To find a way for their self-worth to come through intact. And to be able to have healthy relationships in the future.
For Jessica that means she needs to forgive herself for every time she went into the brothels as a Patron after they started sentencing political prisoners to serve out their terms there. David also needed to forgive himself for not having the iron clad control to be able to prevent himself from enjoying his sexual experiences.
After discussing all of the cases and in particular the two most tricky situations the doctors each saved their notes and headed out of the conference room. Dr. Gonzalez stayed behind to just muse over the game plan they had come up with. As a psychiatrist she is supposed to help her patients make better decisions for a healthier life. It can be all too easy to go from influence to manipulation and she always likes to take a self-check moment to ask herself what are her intentions? Is she withholding from her patients? Is she offering them choices or framing choices based on what she wants them to do?
Dr. Gonzalez just mused over these questions and tried to be honest with herself because in the end we are all just humans doing our best.
****
Jessica was in session with Dr. Gonzalez. She decided to stay because if she was going to trust therapy then she needed to trust that her doctor really did have her interests as top priority. What really settled the matter for Jessica was as she thought over the conversation with Dr. Gonzales, the surprise on her face when Jessica stated that she didn’t believe that the doctor could and would provide her a safe space because of her prior relationship with the captain. Jessica felt bad and wanted to stay so she didn’t hurt the doctor’s feelings.
When Jessica took time to write in her journal, which helped her clarify her thoughts, she realized her decision wasn’t for herself at all. Which brought her to more sitting and thinking through if she wanted to stay with Dr. Gonzales or not. It was times like this that she really missed her mother. Her mom would know just what to say or ask to help bring out the heart of the issue. So instead Jessica tried to write it out in her journal like she was talking to her mom.
In the end, Jessica decided that the surprised look on the doctor's face was going to be her sign that the doctor truly would do as she said and that she would stay for that reason alone. Oi vey, but trying to understand why you are doing something can be way more exhausting than just doing the thing. But, if Jessica went back into session because she wanted to please the doctor rather than trusting the doctor, wouldn’t that color how each session then goes?
Now that Jessica has resolved to trust the safe space of each session she finally began to open up about her time as a Patron at the brothels. She talked about how it began when she was in her 20’s. It had been about a year since her last relationship and she was feeling like it would be nice to have some sexual needs met but really wasn’t interested in trying to start a new relationship. Jessica felt a relationship should be about compatibility between two people and not just horney strangers trying to make a pairing work so they can get some action.
Then Jessica talked about Jason who became a regular pairing for her. Jason and herself had great fun together and enjoyed their relationship for what it was. He was there for her after a bad break up to give her comfort and lovely consolation sex. The break-up was a love gone wrong and it left her feeling like maybe she wasn’t enough. Pretty enough, good enough, just, enough. Jason showed her all the wonderful ways that she was more than ‘enough’.
Jessica then began to talk about when the new law came into effect that put certain types of criminals into the brothels to serve their sentnces as prostitutes. She and Jason discussed for hours how wrong and twisted this was and what they could do about it. Jason loved his job and hated to see it trashed in this manner. Like being a paid sex worker was somehow inately immoral and deemening which made it perfect work for convicts. Instead of quitting in protest, as many other Providers were doing, Jason stayed. He was getting ready to leave in protest against the law until a new convict came into The Rose. That new guy, Tao was his name, suicided. For Jason, that was his trigger event to stay in the brothel and work to make sure the same didn’t happen to anyone else.
Before the Old Earth Regime took over, the colony was the kind of place where life was precious. Life could be stark and harsh as a newly emerging colony on a rock in space. Every death was mourned by everyone and suicide was unheard of. What changed? No one can really put their finger on any one event but somehow it began to feel that the restrictions of being a new colony were just different from the restrictions of the conservative government.
In the old colony you could die and take out half a dozen lives with a stupid mistake and there were a dozen safety protocols that were mandatory to prevent loss of life from those mistakes or errors. But in the current colony, mistakes are being on the wrong side of the conservative spectrum; being too liberal, being too artistic, being too soft, and those mistakes can cost you your life, but usually in the soul sucking way. In the new colony, life was expendable in a way that the old colony never saw. And the hypocrisy of it all was that the conservative government was based on trying to keep the so-called ‘grit’ that made this colony in the first place.
Jessica talked about this with Dr. Gonzales and the doctor gave her own feedback based on what she saw when the old government was being dismantled. Dr. Gonzales both had an understanding of what Jessica had gone through living in that environment and at the same time had an outsider's perspective to help Jessica navigate the blind corners of her feelings. She could offer Jessica a counter perspective on how other societies function on various installations and countries on Earth. She helped Jessica come to terms with the decisions Jessica had to make when inside of the colony.
Decisions like staying as a Patron were made when she held Jason as he cried over Tao’s death. The resolve they both came to that they would not let this stand. They couldn’t do anything overt, almost all of the new convicts were political prisoners, but they would do what they could. At first it was just a commitment to each other to not lose touch.
Since Jason had decided to stay as a Provider he was starting to feel the restrictions on his movement. Yes, he wasn’t a convict but at the same time, if he could come and go as he pleased then that could create a security opening for the convicts to escape so of course management had to put in controls of movement, it’s all very reasonable, don’t you agree? Jessica said that she would stay a Patron so that no matter what Jason would always have at least her as a way to contact the outside. And that’s how it began. Two friends, the death of a stranger, and a promise to never let the same happen again.
Jessica also spoke to Dr. Gonzalez about the first time taking on the newbies.
“Jason came to me and said that there was a new convict and that he was scared. He said he didn’t want to ask it of me, because a pairing between Patron and Provider is supposed to be mutual, but he said he trusted me. So I had a session with the new guy, who was so scared, and I calmed him and helped him out. Back then they weren’t videotaping the newbies so I was able to just sit with him and hold his hand while he cried about his situation. After that there was another, and then another, and then I became the go to Patron for the new guys. Somehow, I was in too deep. I couldn’t say ‘No, I don’t want any convicts as a partner.’ because I had already had too many of them as partners. So I told myself I was helping them. I started passing on the messages as a way to tell myself that I was doing some good but I don’t think I ever really believed that.”
“Jessica, you’re a stastitician, so I’m going to give you some numbers. There were 25 brothels being used as places for political prisoners to serve their sentences. There were three that you visited on a regular basis and one where you had a close relationship with the inside contact who in turn was actively working with the political prisoners.
Over the course of five years there was on average 15 suicide or self harm attemps per year for all of the brothels together. The three you frequented accounted for zero attempts in the past 3 years.
The depression rate overall was 65% of prisoners showed moderate to sever scores. Until you remove the three brothels you supported, then the rates jumps to 71%. Of all of the brothels the one where you and Jason worked together had the lowest rate of depression.
And last, the number of prisoners whose present location was made known to their families was 81% for your brothels compared to 54% on average for all of the others.”
The doctor paused for Jessica to process and do the math.
“We don’t always see beyond our own pain. It’s not being narcasistic, its just how humans are wired. When in pain, emotional or physical, our focus becomes that pain. So let me widen the lens for you and help you see that the condequences of your actions was good. You did good.”
Jessica took that in a for moment then began to cry. She didn’t have words for the crash of emotions but somewhere inside of her there was a knot of tension that was finally able to be released. With the release she was able to begin to let the guilt go and to forgive.
****
David and Dr. Gonzalez were in the therapy room waiting for Jessica to arrive. Dr. Gonzalez had put the idea to both David and Jessica that they could do a joint session to find a way to come to terms with the events from the colony.
As Jessica slid open the door and walked into the room David flashed back to the times when he was in the brothel room waiting for his Patron and she would walk into the room. Then and now Jessica would pause just as she came into the room, looking straight at him with her direct gaze, and then stepped further into the room to pause again, just out of reach.
As David watched her and she looked back at him, he took in the differences between then and now. A hard, closed look to her face that wasn't there before. A sense of vitality, of wellness, was missing and David had a flash of insight. He got to come home to his ship, to his life. But she had lost everything.
"Don't do that. Don't pity me." Jessica said. She could read clearly and accurately the expression on his face. There was a growing anger and tightness in her face and body.
Dr. Gonzalez was there to moderate and direct the conversation but for now this was their moment.
David said "I don't mean to upset you. But it just struck me how different you are now and how much these past few months have affected you."
Jessica sighed and tried to think past her initial, emotional reaction. The look on his face was a mirror and the reflection surprised her into defensiveness. "I can't tell you what to feel. And it’s not fair to get mad at you for something you didn’t even say. I just didn’t like your reaction." There, nice and honest for therapy.
Everyone took a seat. David and Jessica across from each other with the doctor to one side. They began with their goals.
"David, what do you want from today?" began Dr. Gonzalez
David took a moment and then said to Jessica "I've basically come to terms with how I ended up at The Rose and with the imprisonment. But what I'm having a hard time with is my sessions with you." he paused for a moment trying to find the right words and looked off into space. "I enjoyed it and I hate that I enjoyed it. I feel like I should have had more control over myself. But maybe that was just me trying to exercise some sort of control in that situation. Where I was powerless, a situation I am not familiar with." He paused again to look back at Jessica. "I blamed you for how I felt about being with you."
She took a deep breath. “What I need today is to ask you for your forgiveness." She fiddled with her cane, turning it around and around in her hand. "I know what you mean about enjoying it. I tried my best to make sure you did. I told myself it was the best I could do for you." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have done that. I should have just stuck to passing messages. Should have kept the sessions,” no, no euphanisms, she will face this “the sex between us should have just been straight sex. I shouldn’t have tried to make it more.” By the end she was staring fixedly at the top of her cane, unable to look at him directly.
David sat back. "I didn't realize that you were trying to make it better for me. I just kept thinking that I should have resisted more." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.
Dr. Gonzales stepped in. “You’re both being very hard on yourselves, you know that right? Your human, you were in an impossible situation, and neither of you acted with malice. Let’s stop and think about that for a moment. The difference between acting with good intentions versus malice.”
Jessica gave a harsh laugh. “Doctor, you know the old saying, ‘the road to hell is built with good intentions.’”
David responded. “If we don't at least start with good intentions then what else do we have?”
“I dont know.” said Jessica bitterly “I just know that I ended up with a fucked-up leg, my family and my life is gone a million terameters behind me, and I got here because of my good intentions.”
Dr. Gonzalez leaned forward towards Jessica, “The road to hell may be built with good intentions but it also requires a singularity of purpose that doesn’t accept criticism or course correction. Here you are willing to critique your actions and their consequences with an impartial party. As that impartial observer I say - you didn’t act with malice. You did your best. You should at least acknowledge that.”
Jessica blew out a breath. “Yes, I did not act with malice. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone.” She looked at David “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”
David met her gaze “When I authorized you coming aboard this ship I didn’t realize all of what that would mean for you. That you would be leaving your life behind and maybe that isn’t what you wanted. I wasn’t trying to hurt you either and now I feel like I may have.” He took a moment to think. “I remember the first time I met you. You gave me the choice to stay and be with you or to turn you away. You told me that at any time I could say ‘stop’. And you told me what would happen if I said ‘stay’ or ‘go’. Did you mean what you said?”
“Yes.” she said. “I knew you didn’t have a choice in being there. But I don’t condone non-consensual sex. I had to at least try to give you a choice.” she looked down again “More of those good intentions.”
“Thank you for the choice.” David said. Jessica looked up at him “I know how hard it was to at least try to talk to me. I’ve done undercover work, I know the pressure. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I didn’t extend the same to you. No one ever gave you the choice to stay or to leave the colony, did they?”
Jessica shrugged “I had to go. With everything going on in the aftermath there was no place for me in their narrative. There was another operative who went through a very public trial and his fate seemed to have been decided in the court of public opinion before they ever went before a judge. I don’t envy his situation.”
“That’s what I mean. Did anyone ever ask you if you wanted to stay and face public criticism and scrutiny or not? You say you need my forgiveness. You have it but not because I think you need it. I don’t think you did me wrong. I think that you did your best, that given a reversal of roles, I don’t think I could have done better.”
Jessica felt a tightness in her chest and fought to control her expression. It was too easy, too pat. Hearing the words didn’t change how she felt. She knew she was supposed to feel something like relief or release but she just didn’t.
Dr. Gonzalez stepped in. “Jessica, how do you feel right now?”
“I don’t know.” Jessica said honestly and with frustration.
“That’s okay. It’s hard to put feelings into words at times. And I don’t think this is the heart of the issue for you. For either of you. This discussion of choices is important. But from what I understand between you both, the core of what you beat yourselves up about is how good you felt with each other.” Dr. Gonzales gave them both a penetrating stare.
“David, you say you feel like you should have exerted more control in response to a powerless situation. But what if it’s not control over your out of control situation that you're concerned about?”
“And Jessica, you say you tried to make the experience more enjoyable as a way to soften the blow of the situation. But what if you were simply feeling the experience for what it was for you, enjoyable?
What if, just maybe, the person you were with was a big part of how you felt in that situation?
Jessica, do you feel you need forgiveness for enjoying your time with David? And David, do you think you feel something similar?”
Jessica and David looked at each other. Jessica went first. “I didn’t grow up feeling ashamed about sex. I grew up with the idea that there was boundaries around sex but never shame. With partners I’ve had over the past few years, I’ve felt nothing but shame. I just don’t know what to do about feeling this way about something that was supposed to be a normal, good part of my life.” She spun the cane around in her hands “I really tried to compartmentalize away my feelings. And mostly I was able to. But when I was with you I couldn't. I couldn’t make it so that it was just my body there reacting to stimuli and nothing more. Something about you made it so that I felt it deeply, where I was trying to protect and isolate my core. I, I just couldn’t help myself.” The tears won and leaked out of her eyes.
David wanted to reach out and take her hand but didn't trust the impulse. Instead he said “I feel the same way. I was attracted to you and felt that I shouldn’t have been because of the situation.”
Jessica kept her face turned down and away, her hands in tight fists in her lap.
Dr. Gonzaled stepped in. “I will keep saying it until it sinks in, you two. You are being too hard on yourselves. You're not an AI, you're human. Feelings and emotions are what we do even if we try to dictate otherwise. Now, let’s get down to work”
****
Jessica stood in front of her mirror gazing at herself. Hair and make-up - check. Nice outfit, not too formal, not too casual, and flattering to her buxom figure - check. Shoes to match the cane - check. Nerve of steel? Nope, not so much.
She was going on a date. For the first time in years. With a man that she finally admits to herself that she really likes. And whom she already knew intimately as well as knew almost nothing about personally. Nerves of steel would be nice but ya, let me look around, nope, nowhere to be found.
With a smile at her thoughts she headed out the door and joined the crowd. Today The Gardens was hosting its first, big event since picking up the newest passengers. FPSS did their best to get as much participation and turn-out from all aboard. The big event was the harvesting of the crop of corn that was going to be used in the upcoming holiday which was about celebrating the North American First Nations Cultures. The event was a big party that had day time events such as demonstrations of making maize and traditional popcorn and games for children with festivities going into the evening with music, dancing, and libations.
Jessica was meeting David at The Gardens since he would have been there all day, handing out prizes to the children in his role as captain. Now as the day drew to a close and night was falling in the artificial sky of the public spaces ceilings the kids were going to bed and the adults were taking their turn at some fun.
Jessica and David had chosen to try and approach each other with a fresh start. Yes, they had a complicated beginning but for now they had agreed in therapy to put that aside and just approach each other as two people looking to see if they liked each other just as they are.
When Jessica spotted David near the entrance she had a moment to take in the view before he saw her. His hair had gotten mussed, the collar of his shirt was open, and just everything about him was casual and relaxed. His happiness brought a smile to her face.
Then he turned and saw her and his smile became more which improved her own. When they got close enough to talk though, she began to feel a bit awkward. Go in for a kiss, a hug, a wave? David’s self-surety made up for own momentary confidence crash as he leaned in for a cheek kiss. Good choice.
“You look lovely,” he said.
“So do you. Not lovely. Handsome. You look handsome.” OMG is there a hole she could crawl into right now?! What is she, 16??
He just chuckled and took her arm into his and turned them both to walk into the main party area. “There is a table set aside for us. Do you want a drink?”
“Sure, that sounds good. A wine would be nice.”
“Coming right up.” And he left her at the table to go collect the drinks. Jessica took a look around her. The decorations were amazing. There was digital art being displayed from halos to wall art. The corn accessories were everywhere. She could just see the display for the prize winning corn art from corn husk dolls to corn husk trees. There was also a large dance floor in the center of the space that was just starting to get a few, eager couples.
David came back and saw where she was looking. “Do you like to dance?”
“Oh, yes. I’m more of a form dancer than free-style. I like the classic 2-step with some improv. Or well, I used to.”
“I know how to do the 2-step. And I’m sure I could support your balance. If you want to give it a try?”
“Maybe later. Much later.” Jessica said with a smile. “How was it today handing out the prizes?”
David took the hint to change the subject. They talked and laughed. Enjoyed each other's company. Got to know more about the other person. Then much later in the evening David held his hand out to Jessica and she took his arm. Together they walked out onto the dance floor and David supporting her balance led them around in a 2-step dance.
At the end of the night David walked Jessica back to her quarters. She stood in front of her door and looked up at David. There was no awkwardness now when they leaned into each other for a kiss.
“Thank you for the dance.” she said.
“Anytime.”
“Would you like to have dinner tomorrow?”
“Oh yes. And, what do you think about dinner at my place?”
“You have a kitchen?” Jessica was surprised.
David gave a chuckle. “The captain’s quarters are a little bigger but no, no kitchen. I can, however, order in.”
“Oh.” Jessica thought about it for a moment. “Ya, I would like that.”
“It’s a date then.” and David leaned down for one more kiss before Jessic turned away and entered her room.
****
David rushed about his quarters getting everything ready. He was running behind in setting everything up for his dinner date with Jessica. It’s not that he had a long day at work and he ran out of time but rather he kept changing his mind. Changed his mind on the menu, how many times now? He was going to have to do something nice for the cooks who kept up with his changes. Changed his mind about how he wanted to set up the meal, what he should wear, pre-dinner drinks or no? One thing he was certain about was he wanted this evening to be perfect.
Jessica was a woman of such character, strength, and humor that he absolutely knew he wanted her in his life. Last night at The Gardens when they danced he just drank in the feel of her in his arms. He knew the feel of her in his arms in other ways but just dancing around the floor, gazing into her eyes, seeing her smile, was an intimacy that preempted all others.
His door chimed and he went to answer. There she stood, with that direct gaze and just a little bit of nervous energy. That bit of nerves made him feel a little better about his own and he settled a bit.
“Hi.” and kissed her. He loved kissing her.
“Hey.” she replied “I, uh, brought some wine. My mom, she taught me to never arrive to a dinner party empty handed, so, ah, ya, here’s the wine.”
He would not laugh but damn she was cute!
“Thank you. Come on in and I’ll pour us a glass.”
Jessica sort of wandered into his place, which had a pretty basic set-up. As you walked in the front door the dining area was to the right, the living area to the left, the bedroom beyond that, and the bathroom accessed from the bedroom which completed the square of the room by being tucked behind the kitchen.
Jessica stood in front of his display case of some artwork he had picked up along the way.
“The tapestry is from Earth’s Moon. Its design is asian inspired, or at least I’m told. I just like the symmetry of the pattern.” he handed a glass of the wine to Jessica. Pretentious? Humble? Humble bragging?
Jessica accepted the glass. “I like fabric arts. I just love the way a few differently colored threads can be woven together to make this image. I like to think of the person who made it, if you know, it was handmade. Not that machine made is bad or anything.” She took a sip of her wine.
“Ya, it’s handmade. The craftsperson who I bought it from said that he had gotten the pattern off of a cultural heritage website and was trying to recreate it. I think I love it not only because of how it looks but because of the effort a person went to to make it.”
Leading a possession light life because you are aboard a spacecraft with a maximum weight allowance at any given time requires you to be very sure of every purchase and acquisition that you make. David took a look at what he had acquired and had displayed. He loved being the captain of the space cruiser moving continuously between ports and being able to stop at most port-of-calls. He then looked at Jessica and was pleased that she seemed interested in what she was seeing. There was something very personal about showing off your collection.
They sat and had dinner, discussing travels. Jessica had never been off of her home colony but did have an interest in what else was out there. David got the chance to show off his stories of interstellar travel. Jessica shared her hopes to be able to see more of this solar system that humans called home.
After dinner they moved to the couch in the living area, sitting close to each other but not touching. They talked a little about hopes for the future. Then the conversation moved to the here and now.
Reaching out for his hand Jessica said “I’m really enjoying being with you.”
David took her offered hand and ran his fingers up and down the palm of her hand. She was a
a little ticklish and it showed.
“Would it be okay if I asked you to stay longer than dinner?” David said.
“Ya, I would like that.” Jessica looked into his eyes. “Maybe for more than petting?”
David felt things low inside of him tighten at the thought. “I would like that.” he said, his voice having gotten suddenly lower.
They leaned into each other for a kiss that deepened and stayed there where the two could enjoy the moment as though it would last forever.
After a time David lifted Jessica onto his lap but she made a sound of protest.
“My leg doesn’t like that.” she said, indicating kneeling on the couch on his lap wasn’t okay
for her. So David placed his hands under her backside, picked her up as he stood, and walked them to the bed, where he laid her down and continued the kiss. This was definitely an acceptable change of position for them both.
For the first time they were able to explore their desire with each other fully and unhindered. Unhindered by unwanted voyeurs, by issues left over from that time, and just opened themselves up to each other in every way.
The next morning, since Jessica actually had not planned on staying over, she called a service bot to go to her quarters to pick up a change of clothes, her toiletries, and her medication for her leg. The service bot, with the assistance of her household AI in finding each item, packed up a little basket and scooted itself to the crew and then into the officer’s quarters to be delivered to the captain’s door.
David met the little robot at the door and when Jessica would have gotten up for her medication he waved her back down and pulled the tube of medication out of the basket to bring to her.
“Is this a topical cream?” he asked.
“Ya, it’s supposed to help prevent cramping and knots from forming.”
“It’s a muscle relaxant?”
“Mmm-hmmm.”
“If you don’t mind I could massage it onto the leg.”
Jessica looked at him and said, “Ya, I think that would be nice, if you don’t mind.”
David has been physically conditioning his body his entire adulthood and knew the basics of all of the major muscle groups in the body. As Jessica sat on the bed with her legs swung over the side David knelt in front of her and began to work the cream onto the skin of her thigh. He started out gentle, tracing his thumbs over the depressions in the thigh where there was missing tissue. He moved in long, careful strokes from knee to hip and back again. When he got a feel for her leg he deepened the massage, stroking and working the muscles to relax, to free the trapped lactic acid, and release all of the tension.
After he was done Jessica just layed back on the bed, boneless. The ever present tight, achy, dull pain in the leg was just gone and that was a relief so big she just enjoyed it. The absence of pain. David had a small smile on his face. Of all of the ways he liked to play with her body and make her react he didn’t anticipate this but he would take it as a win.
After cleaning his hands David layed in bed alongside Jessica and just gently stroked her arm. She smiled up at him, a sweet, happy, contented smile. David dipped his head down and gave her one of those kisses that creates a different kind of tension. She raised her hands to his back and they began to move together. It felt so good to give in to this desire and to just enjoy it!!
They spent that day and that night bonding as a new couple. They shared with each other everything. Childhoods, dreams, silly stories, fears, desires, and they expressed this to each other in words and with their bodies.
Finally the next morning Jessica left his quarters and went back to her own. But she never made it there.
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