Road trip 2020 was me moving with my sister Dawn from Salt Lake City, Utah to Norfolk, Virginia. I had just gotten evacuated from the Peace Corps and sent back to my home of record. Since I don’t actually have a home that meant my sister’s place. At the same time, my sister was about to move for a new job. Right now we have the COVID-19 pandemic in full swing, but the move still has to happen for Dawn. New house has been bought, if she doesn’t show up for the new job on the start date she loses it, etc. I have to make my way to Fredericksburg, VA to get at my storage unit. In order for me to apply for federal jobs I need my SF-15 and SF-50. Which used to be online in a cloud but are no longer and I need to get my hands on my originals.
The road trip consisted of Dawn and I, two cats, two dogs, two birds, and the SUV pulling the U-Haul trailer. The road trip was a shit show.
Wednesday Day one: We are supposed to hit the road by 8 am once the notary shows with the papers for the closing of the Virginia house at 7 am. This did not occur until 1 pm. At the same time a snow storm was blowing in from the west. Dawn and I discussed our best route, but ultimately the decisions are left to me because Dawn cannot read maps well. I had initially decided on taking I-40 all the way through to the East Coast. This means a detour to drop down to I-40 of over 8 hours. But well worth it because of the late spring storms that may hit in the plains states and when crossing the mountains at the East Coast.
However, given the late delay, the storm, and the fact that in order to get to I-40 from Salt Lake you have to take a rural road through rural Utah, I judged this to be too risky in terms of finding lodging when we would need it. Instead I went with a different plan of taking I-80 out of Salt Lake, through most of Wyoming, and then dropping down to I-40 via I-25 at Cheyenne.
Thursday Day Two: This turned out to be a bad decision because the storm came in and packed the highway with ice and snow. I was driving, Dawn can only do about an hour of driving a day per her doctor because her shoulder and back can not handle it. I was doing about 50 mph when I had to avoid a pothole in the road. The move was enough for the trailer to lose traction. It fishtailed and pulled the SUV with it across two lanes of traffic from right to left. I hit the guardrail which bounced us back. I fish tailed back across the road. Somehow I finally pulled out of the fish tail, drove straight, and got onto the shoulder of the road.
I got out of the car, walked away, crouched down in the snow, covered my head, and just shook.
A couple of guys in a work truck pulled off the road in front of us. They said they saw the whole thing. Good driving, kept control. They saw the trailer hit the guard rail and were concerned the tire had been damaged. It wasn’t, the wheel well did it’s job and took the impact. Next some cops pulled in behind us. They took my statement, ran my licence and since it was Dawn’s car, her license and car insurance. Dawn didn’t have her insurance available so that was about half an hour of her on the edge of flip out while she tried to get proof of insurance on her phone but she kept it under control for the cops. I got a citation for going too fast for the conditions.
We then had to stop early for the night because the weather was getting worse. More snow was coming down and visibility was going away. We stopped in Cheyenne for the night.
Friday Day 3: Now we picked up I-25 and were going south. We had lost a lot of time and were making very slow progress. Again I talked to my sister about our route options, again she didn’t have much input or help in making a decision and told me she was fine with what I wanted to do. Which was to pick up I-70 outside of Denver and keep heading East. Throughout each day Dawn is messaging her group chat of people in her life that want to know how her road trip is going. I’m not in the group chat. Every now and again Dawn reads me some of their comments. Things like “Earth to Navigator, I-80 is far away from I-40”.
Saturday Day 4: We drive through Kansas and Missouri. Totally without incident. So lets talk about the pets. We have the two dogs, two cats, and two birds. Everyone has settled down for the trip in their kennels and cages. One bird in the hotel room has taken to walking the room and meowing at the small hours of the morning. Which got him put into the car for the rest of the night. And one bird has fallen in love with the Dresden Files read by James Marsters. I honestly don't know which Goose loves more; the story or the reader.
Sunday Day 5: We are continuing East and now I’m getting the point where I want to drop to I-40 again via a more easterly route from Missouri to Tennessee using I-64 and I-24 and taking us through the corners of Illinois and Indiana. I set up the route on my phone, turn off the screen, and when I checked it some time later, the map had a different route selected. The one that takes you through Kentucky and West Virginia. So I had to drop down to I-40 using a less than ideal route including small, windy state roads.
At some point in this day, I don’t remember what state it was, Dawn wanted her Starbucks mug for that state. I see a Starbucks sign from the highway, I pull off to go find it, and it’s drive through service only. I judged the drive through to be too small for the SUV and trailer. It was a hairpin turn around the building in a concrete lined one lane drive. Dawn thought she could do it. So she put her foot down and was going to go through that drive through for her mug. I pitched a fit until she didn’t. I then went to the other Starbucks in the town and they were all closed. For the next few hours and until we left the state Dawn was on her phone messaging her people, huffing and puffing and crying.
She did get a Starbucks mug for every other state that we passed through and which she did not have a mug for that state already.
Day 6: We start the day by walking the dogs. As I do each time I make a navigating decision I talk to Dawn about it. From where we were there were two options into Norfolk. An interstate route that would take us north to Richmond then east to Norfolk. Or stay on I-40 and keep going east until you go north for Norfolk. I talked about the pros and cons of the two routes. And she agreed with the one I wanted to do.
I thought we were going to have a good, final day of driving. My plan for taking I-40 through the Appalachian range was working because that section of the range is relatively easy. Compared to what I remember going through West Virginia and Kentucky, I-40 was a pretty nice ride.
And now that we were for sure on our last day, presuming we can do over 500 miles, Dawn was ready to make the calls to get her utilities turned on. Since she was trying to do same day service, everyone is cutting back their service calls due to COVID-19, and her inability to use technology well, she spent two hours in the car having a full blown melt down. Screaming, Yelling at people. Hitting the car door. The works.
We get to a rest stop in the mountains and she puts her foot down that we can not leave until she does this call. She can’t do it later. Of course she couldn’t have had it done last week. It had to be right now sitting at this rest stop. After her phone call was done and I tried to talk to her she just yelled over me. Reached across me to blow the car horn. Screamed at me. Yelling at me that she doesn't want to hear it.
And that is when our relationship broke.
And she doesn’t care. Because to Dawn, she is completely justified.
Dawn has anger management issues. It’s a problem. Not for her, because she has excuses. But for everyone else because she doesn’t care. She has said so, every time.
I checked out at that point and have refused to talk to her. At first this put her in a snit. Not a full blown melt down. Just a small snit. So she decides to get back at me using her audience. Before when she bad mouths me to her audience she was doing so privately in chat groups which I am not apart of. Now she made sure it was in my face with a Facebook post, tagging me, that we were in North Carolina, no idea why, take it up with her sister, @(me). And her audience right on cue does. I get all of the nasty, sarcastic comments of how in the hell did we end up in North Carolina.
If any one cares to recall, Dawn was okay with the I-40 route that kept us on the North Carolina border for most of the day while walking the dogs that morning. But when it came time for setting me up for blame, now memory can be adjusted to her being a hapless victim to her stupid sister and her incompetence.
In Dawn’s world, as a person who loves and supports her, your supposed to enable these fits of rage by saying “That’s just how she gets sometimes.” So when I become deeply hurt by this, well, it’s just me being a bitch. A dramatic bitch at that. I’m the bitch who can’t just let it go, and understand. I’m the bitch who is being too sensitive. Especially about the social media post where she set me up for ridicule and blame from her audience, which they responded to on cue with plenty of sarcastic venom for me. But that’s just me being too sensitive. After all, I’m supposed to just ‘suck it up, buttercup.’
For the rest of the day Dawn was all sweetness and good humor. The perfect picture of civilized behavior. After all, that is what a punching bag is for, to pound on in order to make yourself feel better. But we don’t say that out loud. We pretend that all of this didn’t happen. She has no idea why I could possibly be upset. It must be that I’m just such a bitch.
First day at the house: I helped her finish unloading the trailer and assembling the birdcage - but otherwise stay in my room. She knocks on the door, and opens it when I say “What?” to which I tell her that it's not okay to just come in like that. She says “You drop your fucking attitude or pack your shit and leave. So sorry you got called on your bullshit.”
Now I’m homeless.
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